Herbal Essences has a product called “dangerously straight.” It is a spray for when you are straightening your hair. And, ironically, I found a bottle of it while helping a lesbian friend of mine clean her house. I made a joke about it. It was funny, but then I thought about it some more. Is anything “dangerously straight?”. Think about your Facebook friends’ posts. If you see someone post, “What about white history month???” #dangerouslystraight
Not that a gay guy couldn’t post something like that, but it embodies a mentality that is so oblivious to other people’s experiences with oppression that it is dangerous. Dangerously straight. We all know one of these people. People who are dangerously straight because they view being straight as the default setting. For everyone. The line of reasoning goes like this. “I like women. I’m a man. Men like women. It’s natural.”
Well, yeah, for you. But it’s not like men who identify as gay were thinking, “Yeah, women are great but if only there was a way for me to be in a relationship that makes my family and closed-minded strangers feel confused and uncomfortable while also putting my rights and general well-being at risk…” #dangerouslygay I think that would be a better term because being gay is much more dangerous than being straight. I should say, it puts you at more of a risk. Honestly, statistics indicate that GLBTQAI folks are at a significantly higher risk of smoking, suicide, and stress than other groups. Why? Because of people who are #dangerouslystraight.
Dangerously straight means almost the exact opposite of dangerously gay. If you’re gay, or black, or muslim, or disabled, or a vegan, or anything people may view as different you are more likely to be living a dangerous existence. I include vegans not because they are visibly different or overtly discriminated against or often subject to prejudice and bigotry. I’m just not sure you can be healthy and have sufficient protein if you’re afraid to eat meat and dairy. #dangerouslyvegan Just kidding, of course. I know vegans have chickpeas and TVP and great senses of humor so they can hopefully overcome any of these dietary concerns and a little bit of good-natured ribbing. Hopefully we can all find an identity that makes us understand the problem with being dangerously straight. Because being dangerously straight doesn’t mean that you’re the one in danger. Being straight is hardly ever dangerous. [For men, anyway.]
I’m not sure if you are still struggling with this concept, but if you can’t think of anyone in your life who is dangerously straight, it might be you. Do you like talking to people and explaining topics that they already know and may, in fact, be experts in? #mansplain #dangerouslystraight
I’m just now realizing that I’ve just mansplained what mansplaining is to people who are likely experts on mansplaination. #metamansplaining #mansplaination
Mansplaination. That almost sounds like a word to describe a country. “One mansplaination,under God, indivisible…” I think that’s how it goes. I’m Canadian, I don’t know the words. Sorry. But it does sound like a country.
I feel like if Mansplaination were a country it would be America. Like, the current administration couldn’t pass any big legislation to make America great again so they just decided to rebrand. “From now on, we will be Mansplaination. And we’re changing the flag to a picture of a white guy interrupting a room full of oppressed people to tell them about what it is like to be discriminated against.”
I feel like all the dangerously straight people would not have a problem with that.